How To Not Get Laid In High School

Write what you know.

Have strong opinions about things which are seemingly irrelevant

There is a commercial for a particular women’s rights-focused charity which has left me fuming with rage for the last few months. I haven’t–YET–located it on the internet, however, I will include it on this post once I do. I will also keep this paragraph, since it fills up the page nicely.

As for this commercial–you have probably seen in. It opens with something to the effect of “no one understands what it’s like to be a woman in the developing world better than a woman in the developed world.” When I first saw the commercial/heard these words, I immediately began yelling at the TV, interchanging each shouted yarn with an incredulous look at my boyfriend. “NO,” said I, “no, no no, no.”

The commercial goes on to show a lot of beautiful young women of colour smiling at the camera. They are all connected by a long, flowing scarf, a number which I think was borrowed from a skin cream commercial a few years back, and which probably originated from a tampon commercial at some point in time. “Silky glide,” as they say. One of the redeeming qualities about this commercial is that it does not go into detail about how better one’s life would be if only they had some skin creamed sweetened  with the afterbirth of some young Russian mother (bet you didn’t know they used placenta in hand creams, did’ja?) or how much more you are able to accomplish when you are unencumbered by those diaper-like sanitary napkins. Winky face.

The problem I have with this gaytarded commercial is  this: it espouses this false idea that all women share this mutually agreed-upon understanding about what it’s like to be a woman. It’s really, REALLY offensive to liken the experience of women in the developed world to ANYONE in the developing world. Do I know what it’s like to be gang-raped when I go to the well and get water? No. Do I know what it’s like to have moderate to extremely invasive surgery on my genitals so that I won’t turn into a “bad girl”? Hell no. Do I know what it’s like to be harassed because I am a woman driving a car? Yes, but that has more to do with my at-times lousy driving than it does with my gender.

It’s not right to equate the experience of people living in developed countries with those of people living in developing ones because we have absolutely no idea what it’s like to be women living in those circumstances. You never hear people referencing the international brotherhood of shared men’s experiences. Why? Because people recognize the experiences and responsibilities of men are all individual, regardless of where those men happen to live.

A good way to not get laid in high school is to denounce attempts to glorify the made-up international sisterhood of menstruating girl sister womens. Women are individuals, and their experiences of the world are unique. This idea of the great universal connectedness of women is extremely elitist, as it relies on this construct of women as the bearer of children. Because all women are united through their capacity to have babies, right? But what about women who are infertile, or older women, or trans women? Do they not count?

Alright, I’m done.

To Do

  • Zine sketches
  • Post about Tyler, the Creator–stay posted!
  • Listen to “Enter the Wu Tang” and “Doggy Style”

Can’t get out of my head

Harry Johnson, “It’s Nothing to Me”

What I just did

Quit radio show (poo-poo)


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